humility / return to the valley
“Never does a sage go ahead of other men, but always follows in their wake.” - Yin Xi
Mask your brightness. (56)
The Tao Te Ching was first spoken to leaders, yet its wisdom speaks to all of us. Again and again, Lao Tzu reminds the ruler who would be great to sink low, to dwell at the bottom like a valley. Where does every stream run? Downward. The life-giving waters do not seek the mountaintop; they gather in the low places, nourishing all.
This is the spirit of humility—not the posture of self-deprecation, but the quiet refusal to rise above others. The one who does not seek honor becomes magnetic; the one who does not demand esteem draws hearts without effort. We are rarely drawn to those who strive to seem superior. We are drawn to those who rest easily in their own humanity, who stand level with us, not above us.
True humility is not a competition to see who can think least of themselves. It is the recognition that under the Tao, all things are equal. The endless comparisons—status, wealth, intelligence, beauty—are distractions that rob us of joy and obscure what truly matters. When we stop grasping for worth, we discover it was never lacking. Yet deeper still: humility is born of knowing that the Tao, not we ourselves, is the source of all power and direction. We imagine we are in charge of our lives, but this is an illusion. The Tao flows through us, carries us, shapes our path. The wise do not try to seize control but surrender to this greater order.
And above all, we remember: the Tao cannot be grasped by the mind. We glimpse its movements, we taste its sweetness, but the Tao itself remains beyond knowing. Wonder softens our arrogance. In awe of this vast mystery, we let go of our striving, sink low as a valley, and allow life to flow through us as it will.
The value of a bowl lies in its emptiness . . .
One of the most beautiful parallels in the Tao Te Ching is the comparison between a bowl and the valley. Both images speak to the power of emptiness, humility, and receptivity.
A bowl is only useful because it is hollow. Its emptiness allows it to hold tea, water, rice—whatever is needed in the moment. A bowl that is full of itself, packed solid with clay, has no space for anything else. Likewise, a mind or heart filled with pride, self-importance, or the need to be “above” others leaves no room for wisdom, connection, or the Tao to flow in.
The valley has this same nature. The rivers do not rush to the peaks, they gather in the low places. The valley nourishes life precisely because it sits beneath all else, welcoming the waters without resistance or judgment. It does not clamor to be higher, to be seen, or to claim credit for the life it sustains—it simply receives.
Humility is the art of becoming like the bowl and the valley: open, spacious, willing to receive. It is not thinking less of ourselves, but letting go of the need to be “full” of status, superiority, or self-concern. In this way, we create space for the Tao to flow through us, to fill us with what is truly needed. And paradoxically, by being “empty,” we become most abundant.
Can you wait for your dust to settle?
Knowing one's own unknowingness, is wise; not knowing one's own unknowingness, is sickness. A sage has no sickness, because she knows her sickness. Knowing one's own sickness, she no longer has sickness. (Chapter 71)
What humility and returning to the valley looks like in our lives . . .
Letting go of the need to be viewed as right, superior, or even competent. In the valley, we let go of our concern about what other people think of us.
Not imposing our own viewpoints or choices on others. We see the choices of others as valid based on their own life path and experiences.
Being content with what the Tao has given us, realizing it is perfect and for our good.
Being open to new experiences without fear of failure.
Content to be a work in progress. We realize the value of the empty bowl.
Living with an attitude that we deserve to have only good things happen to us or that we deserve to have a better life than everyone else
Quickly interpreting events good and bad, involving ourselves or others, based on our own understanding rather than slowing down and seeking to see things in terms of the truths of the Tao.
Feeling bad about ourselves because we feel we don't measure up to other people or our expectations for ourself in one way or another.
quotes
“You neither desire wealth nor greatness; and, indeed,
I value and admire such a man much more than I do any of the great men in the world.” — Thomas More
“Like water that becomes clear when left alone, the wise make no plans and casually adjust themselves to events.” — Chuang Tzu
“Those who would take over the world never succeed... The wise never over-reach, over-spend, or over-rate.” — Lao Tzu
“Pride more than age hastens life to its end;
And they who in pride pretend
Beyond man's limit, will lose what lay
Close to their hand and sure.”
“The noblest thing a man can have is a humble and quiet heart... the wisest thing for a man to possess, if he but use it.”
“If a branch is too rigid, it will break… know how to yield, and you will survive.”
“A student came to a rabbi and said, 'In the olden days, there were men who saw the face of God Why don't they any more?' The rabbi replied, 'Because nowadays no one can stoop so low.'” — Anonymous
“Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” — Jesus
“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels” — Augustine
“Although the ancient masters lived in the world, no one thought they were special.”
“Even three feet of snow can’t crush a one-inch spiritual pine.”
“By making ourselves lower than others we can use their wisdom and power as our own.
Thus we can win without taking up arms, without getting angry, and without making enemies.”
— Wu Cheng
“It is only at night that brilliance and color are pleasing. By day let your appearance be simple and sober but at night
it is well to wear bright and gay garments.”
“Humility is truth.” Erasmus
“I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.”