what can i release?

I was reading one of my sections today, and it became immediately clear that I had just used far too many words to explain quite muddy ideas. I almost wanted to throw it all out, but I was able to sift through some sand to find a bit of gold. Still, I realized I could do with so much less, and that all the meaningless clutter was masking the small, sometimes tiny, specks of gold quietly hiding in the chaos. Here I was trying to create something meaningful, and I was masking all the meaning with words I had tried to make sound insightful but were for the most part quite empty.

If there is one paradigm that shines through Taoism, it is surely that less is almost always more. And it applies to everything: the way we react to counter energy, our homes, our schedules, our expectations, ourselves, our art, our writing. What is beautiful about nature is that it is always just enough, never too much. How can I capture that perfect beauty in my own life? Recently I have been trying to clear out the excess in my home and at the same time putting everything in its place each night a priority. When I woke up this morning and walked into my clean, open-feeling living room, I was filled with peace and buoyancy. Releasing excess in ourselves and in our environment can transform our life experience and is the way of the Tao.

One of my favorite TTC verses is 29:

Do you think you can take over the universe and improve it?

I do not believe it can be done.

The universe is sacred.

You cannot improve it.

If you try to change it, you will ruin it.

If you try to hold it, you will lose it. (Mitchell)

The essence of excess is a desire to control and improve. If I keep a lot of stuff, I can control how I am able to respond to the future. If I try hard enough, maybe I can become the person I feel I should be and someone others will admire. If I do just the right things, maybe I can make this man love me.

Over and over again Lao Tzu reminds us that all of these efforts are wasted: The Tao is perfect, we cannot improve it, so letting go is always the way of the Tao. If we let the Tao run through our lives, things will work themselves out for the best. But to do this, we have to let go. Just as getting rid of excess stuff in my house allows its beauty to breathe, getting rid of our excess desires, fears, schemes, ego, will allow our most natural self - our Ziran - to breathe and thrive.

As I look at my life, here are the things I want to release:

My desire to be admired or even understood (the opposite of being happy in the valley)

My need to be productive (I've noticed when I let myself do less, I actually get more done.)

My desire to share my beliefs with others (They will find what they need when they are ready. If I am busy trying to share, I may miss what they have to share with me.)

My endless goals and plans and obsessive focus on creating a perfect tomorrow (If we only focus on goals and plans, we never really live at all, because living takes place today.)

My desire to appear beautiful (because it is vain and selfish and is based on the false idea that beauty is about form rather than the formless).

My expectation that everything will progress without a hitch (So much frustration would be eliminated if I could see bumps in the road as the norm rather than the exception. Nature is messy and chaotic, but in the end all things work in harmony.)

Every item in my house that I keep because I don't want to lose the money I spent on it (which is already gone), it represents an old dream/desire, I fear hurting someone's feelings by letting go of it, or I may need it in the future. Again, peace and beauty come from focusing on today, not yesterday or tomorrow.

My need to make sense of everything or have all the answers right now.

The feeling I have that if I am not experiencing everything others are experiencing that I am not living a full life.

My occasional indulgence in non-edifying entertainment. I struggle with this one. When we think of wu wei, we think - we should just do whatever feels right to do in the moment. If that means playing a mindless game - do it. BUT . . . on closer examination, I realize I DON'T feel good spending my time this way. And I don't think it's just guilt; it truly doesn't nourish my spirit or mind. So I would like to give in to the nudges of my higher self and not spend the time of my life by engaging in mindless entertainment.

My need to win the argument, even if I am right.

What about you? What do you want to release from your life to allow yourself to live more fully and your Ziran to breathe?

It can be scary to let go, but it can make more of a difference than we realize. Like clearing out a cluttered room and opening the curtains, clearing out our mind and desires can finally allow the beauty, peace and meaning to pour in.