getting unstuck

It is a common refrain in life: I feel so stuck. I hate where I am, but I can't seem to find the discipline to make changes and get into a better situation. I am so unhappy I can barely find the strength to go on.

I read a comment similar to these today. The person was asking for Taoist advice about how to get yourself to be able to do everything you want to do to create or find that better life that you so desire. (Which is, of course, a noble desire . . . .)

I wrote a response, which although is short and simple, I believe truly is the key to finding the way out of stuckness . . . .

Accept that you are exactly where you need to be. Accept that you are perfect exactly as you are. Listen only to the voice within you that acts from love (of self, others, and life) and gratitude rather than desperation. Act on the small nudges that this voice gives you. I believe you can be completely content exactly where you are, as you are, if you see the situation as it really is. Only by doing this will you be prepared to move forward, if that is where your path leads. I worked for the very first personal coach in the 1990s, and one thing he wrote has never left me: Make the present perfect. Strive to do this gently and in the spirit of acceptance, and your life will unfold as it should.

If someone were to ask me what is at the heart of Taoism, I would say it is exactly this: to be content with who you are, where you are. If you can simply accept yourself and your life where you are right now, and believe that what is happening is exactly what should be happening, you will find true peace and contentment even in the midst of any storm.

This doesn't mean everything in your life right now is perfect in terms of providing you with the life you think you want or need. But it does mean it is perfect in that it reflects who you are right now in your life, including all of your shortcoming. But here is why accepting your present is the key to getting where you really need to be: when you accept things as they are you start seeing what is REALLY holding you back from living the best version of your. This is what Lao Tsu means when he says to "let your dust settle." When you are resisting your life, seeing all the ways it is lacking, you are in the midst of dust. If you slow down and accept your present, and yourself, that dust begins to settle and you start to see what thought processes or behaviors are really blocking your happiness. Maybe you think you need a better job to be happy; but perhaps the truth is you need to be more patient or more disciplined, or perhaps you need to make a complete career change. Maybe you think you aren't good enough to be in a relationship when the truth is you aren't judging yourself correctly and/or you are not treasuring your self as you deserve to be treasured. For me, I believe I need to live in a different house to be truly happy, but when I accept my house as where I belong and where I can be happy, it begins to reveal its beauty and comfort to me. In these ways, we accept ourselves and our lives into what the Tao intends for us.